Cruel and Entertaining Punishment

PETA does not like Fish Fighting any more than they like Dog Fighting or Cock Fighting. I would never pit two dogs or roosters against each other for sheer entertainment. But I did have an opportunity to witness some Betta fishes go at it for pure entertainment, albeit insanely sadistic.


[As this story unfolds, be reminded that the names have been changed to protect the innocent, and that parts or all of this story are written for entertainment purposes only and should in no way construe that these events actually occurred at any time or place int the history of mankind.]


The original idea was such that the arriving competitors would face off, one at a time in a bracket style elimination in a half-gallon tank. The overall winner was scheduled to face Steve - a medium sized, very hungry and pissed off Oscar in a 30-gallon tank. However, there were only three competitors to arrive with enough guts to compete in a battle to the death: Durschnitt, Simone, and James. Round one began with Durschnitt and James.


After several minutes, Durschitt was kicking the crap out of James, then the table turned. James was pulling bits of fin off of Durschnitt with lightning fast attacks. Another thirty-minutes passed, and both contestants had receded to their corners in a draw.


The crowd grew anxious... and bored. Unbeknownst to the host of this event (who was cleaning up a broken beer bottle and diffusing a potential round of fisticuffs on the veranda), the remaining ticket holder was tossed in the arena.


Now, Durchnit and James are weary. Here is Simone. Small, fast and angry. All three of them cramped in a half gallon of tap water with no where to hide in a free-for-all. Several swirling battles continued. Two at a time while Simone rested below... planning and plotting his eventual attack.


As the clock hands continued to move about the circumference of time, the battle once again grew stagnant. There they were. At a boring face-off. All just staring one-another down. A human guest of the event, Tom, decided it was time to get crazy!


Up comes the battle-bowl, and down goes all three - Durschnitt and James, worn and weary, and Simone... still rested from his planned safe distance - into the tank with Steve!


Several hours passed, the guests went home. Later it was discovered that half of Durschnitt was drifting in the tank and James was no where to be found. Simone rested quietly and serenely in the fake plastic seaweed. Steve, meanwhile, laid resting in his hiding hole in a food induced coma.

1/2 of Durschnitt

It is not for sure who was the first one down, but it is certain who was the last one standing (er. . . swimming), Simone.


All hail to the Champion Simone!


But alas, all good things come to an end. After Steve regained his energy a day later, Simone quietly vanished from the lair of Steve.


Thank you to all who attended this event that never happened! WE all had a great time and a big CONGRATULATIONS to all my Spartan Alumni!